The adventures of Barbara Gordon and the Joker
by Batman DannyP fanwriter
Summary: This is what might have happened between Barb and the Joker after her accident...I know some of it is crazy, but I wrote it on a dare, so bear with me
1. Chapter 1

**The Adventures of Barbara Gordon and the Joker**

**Chapter 1**

**Barbara**

It had been about four mouths since the "accident," and my father had finally agreed to let me go out and get my own apartment. My argument: "I have to learn to live on my own sooner or later. You won't always be there to protect me." With that argument, my father agreed to let me move out on my own. So I had been in my new apartment for about a week now, and while it wasn't perfect, it was better then constantly being watched over and having everything done for you because people felt you couldn't do it by yourself.

I lived in apartment eight D. This apartment was on thee top floor, eight, and it was the fourth door down. It had been hard finding an apartment that was handicapped accessible that was in my price range and livable, but eventually I did find one. While I had been here, there had been no trouble, which made the place nice to me. I really enjoyed the place and all the freedom It gave me to live here, and the other plus was that it was just down the road from the park and you could see the park from my window.

Well, today I came home from a long night as being Oracle, and was very tired. I came up the elevator and down the hall to my door, and was never so happy to see the small place. I went to close the door, but a foot stopped me. I looked up and frowned at the man standing there.

"What do you want Joker!"

**Page Break**

**Joker**

I had some work to do with an old biz friend of mine, so I agreed to meet him at his working home. He lived in an old apartment building just down the road from the park. He lived in apartment Eight F, it was the sixth door down on the eighth floor.

While we were there, we had a nice little chat and got our work done. During that time, I was thinking about my old friend Barbara. It had been about four mouths since I had seen her and I figured it would be nice to visit her again, but there was no way her daddy would ever let me see her again.

I was totally bummed out about the whole thing as I was leaving my friends house, but then I saw her. My old friend Barbara Gordon was heading down the hall to a room with her keys extended. This was just perfect for me! I was going to get to see my old friend after all! I scurried down the hall after her, but her door was beginning to close. I put my foot in the door hoping to catch her before it was too late. She looked up at me and scowled!

What do you want Joker!"

Her words cut me deep, so i walked in and closed the door hoping to explain. She did not look happy to see me, so I pulled her with me and sat down on her couch to tell her all about how I had missed her and had come to see her.

"Hey Babs, its been a long time!"


	2. Chapter 2

**The adventures of Barbara Gordon and the Joker**

Chapter 2

**Barbara**

He looked at me with a mock look of hurt before inviting himself in. I frowned. I had not seen this clown since the accident, and I did not want to see him now. I was about to demand that he leave when grabbed a hold of my wheelchair and pulled me in with him to the couch where he invited himself to have a seat. He turned and faced me with a smile.

"Hey Babs, its been a long time!"

"Not long enough," I said bitterly. "What are you doing here!"

"I was here on biz and then I saw you and thought, 'Why don't I stop and see my old friend Babs?' See, I've missed you Babs!"

"Don't call me that! Only my friends can call me that! Now what do you want!"

"I told you, I came to see you."

"Well you've seen me, now get lost!"

"Oh Babs, you hurt m. I thought you and I were good friends," he said in a mock form of hurt.

""Oh! Is that why you did this to me," I demanded angrily waving at my chair.

"Why yes! You looked like you were getting tired of standing and walking all the time, so I helped you. Now you don't have to be tired of walking anymore," he said smiling.

"Well, I an NOT grateful! Now you've seen me, leave," I demanded.

"Oh, but Babs, I was hoping we could hang out, like friends," he said frowning.

"Uh, no. I don't think so."

He got up and turned to leave, but then turned back to me and sprayed something at me with his flower. Thats the last thing I remember before everything went black.

**Page Break**

**Joker**

Barbara looked at me coldly as I took my seat and smiled at her.

"Hey Babs, its been a long time," I said.

She deepened her frown, "Not long enough." She sounded really bitter.

I smiled sweetly at her. "I was here on biz and I thought to myself, 'Why don't I stop in and see my old friend Babs?' See Babs, I have missed you very much." I explained with an even bigger smile. I thought sure she'd understand now. Alas, her frown deepened and turned into a scowl.

"Don't you ever call me that!" She said forcefully. I was too taken aback to respond. "Only my FRIENDS call me that! Now, what do you want," She demanded.

"I told you, I just wanted to see you. You are my friend and I have not seen you in four mouths. I just thought we could visit." I was hurt by her anger. Through everything that had happened, I had hoped we still would be friends, but by the look of anger on her face, I guess not.

"Well, I don't want to see YOU! Now get lost clown!"

"Oh Babs, you hurt me really bad," I said truly hurt by her words. "I thought we truly were friends."

"Oh give me a BREAK! FRIENDS! Is that why you did this to me?" She demanded waving frantically at her chair.

"Well," I hesitated because she looked so mad. "Yes. You looked tired of walking around and standing all the time, so I thought I'd help you. Now, you will never have to get tired again." I smiled at her. What I did I had done for her.

"Well! I WILL NOT say thank you! You've seen me, now get LOST!"

"On Babs, you cut me to the core, I was hoping we could hang out and strengthen our friendship," I said smiling.

"Never!"

"Well, if thats how you feel, I will leave." I turned to leave and then I remembered my flower. I wanted her to smell it because it smelled really nice. I turned back to her to have her smell it and a cloud of smoke came out of it and I realized that it was my sleeping gas flower.

I was worried that she would not be safe at home alone, since she was passed out, so I picked her up and put her over my shoulder and took her to a safe place. I took her to my "place of friendship." It was a wonderful field with all kinds of flowers for her to smell, its where I got my flowers for my suits. Miss Ivy came here and helped me grow them all. I put her down so she could rest as I went around getting flowers for my friend. She was going to be so happy when she woke up, I just knew it! Just then, she started to stir.


	3. Chapter 3

**The Adventures of Barbara Gordon and the Joker**

Chapter 3

**Barbra**

I started to feel the sleeping gas wear off. As I slowly opened my eyes, I saw how bright the grass was and knew that I was no longer in my apartment. I looked up and saw a bright and colorful rainbow and Joker dancing up to me with a handful of flowers. I pulled away from him.

"Awww Babs, I picked these flowers just for you," he said with that stupid fake grin on his face.

"Well, I don't want any thanks!"

He frowned and set the flowers beside me anyways. He bent down to me so that we were face to face. "What am I doing here Joker!" I demanded.

"You passed out, and I didn't think it was safe for you to be home alone while you were passed out like that. Who knows who could have come in on you?" He laughed with that stupid grin on his face; I returned it with a frown. I looked around but my chair was no where to be found. If I wanted to get out of here, where ever "here" was, I was going to have to do it on my own.

"So, where's my chair at Joker?"

"Silly, I couldn't carry you and the chair too. I left it at your house for safe keeping. You won't need that chair here anyways."

"I won't need it? And why's that Joker?"

"Because, I'll be helping you get around here," he said in a mocking way. "Now come on, I have a ride for us," he says grabbing my wrists and dragging me along with him. My face, arms, and legs were getting cuts and scratches on them from being dragged face first on the ground, when he finally stopped.

I managed to look up, and what I saw shocked me. I figured I had to be imagining it, but we had stopped at the end of the rainbow and there was a unicorn standing there. Joker let go of my arms and I rubbed my eyes fiercely; I had to be imagining it. It was a beautiful white horse with a purple mane, and had a long pink horn on its forehead.

"Isn't she nice? Harley calls her Glitter." He laughed and I shook my head, I had to be dreaming. "You can pet her if you like, even ride her if you want, but you can't feed her any of the skittles. They belong to the leprechaun that guards them." His loud laugh echoed in my ears as I looked up at him confused, I really had to be dreaming.

"Leprechaun? Skittles? Glitter?" I was too confused.

"Yes, the leprechaun is over by the corner of the rainbow protecting his pot of skittles." Joker laughed again, only louder this time.

I looked around Joker to see this so called "leprechaun" and was shocked at what I saw. Chained to the big, black, cauldron was Damian in his mask and a leprechaun outfit, no bat belt in sight.

"Saw my leprechaun roaming around outside. He was just the right size, so I brought him here to guard his skittles. I locked up all of his "goodies." After all, if he had those he could get away, and then he wouldn't be guarding his pot of skittles. Don't worry, I never removed the little leprechaun's mask. Now, how about a ride bestest buddie?"

"Gordon, what are you doing her," Damian demanded!

"Same freakin' thing you are doing, being a freakin' captive!" I yelled back at him. Joker put himself between the two of us and smiled.

"Now, now, no fighting, this is a place of fun!" Hr looked down at his wrist, the batcom was tied there, and frowned. "Seems your bat friends are looking for you." He sighed and walked over to Damian. Damian pulled at the cuffs holding him to the pot.

"Get away from me clown or I'll rip that smile off your face!" Damian yelled at him launching at Joker. Joker mad a fist and punched Damian in the face. Damian fell down, his nose bleeding a bit. He bounced back up and head butted Joker in the stomach. Joker fell down and then got back up and pointed his flower at Damian's face, which was headed back for Joker stomach again. A purple smoke came out and hit Damian's face and he fell down and was out cold. Joker sighed.

"He should not have been such a violent little leprechaun. I was hoping you and I could spend a little more time together Babs, but it seems I have to share you with your other friends too and the bats are looking for you." He sighed again and pointed his flower at me.

"N..." I started to say as purple smoke came out and everything went dark again and I was out cold.

**Page Break**

**Joker**

As Babs woke up I smiled. I held the flowers out for her to see. I just knew she'd love them. I danced up to her and held the flowers out for her, but she pulled away.

"I picked these flowers just for you, my best friend Babs!" I smiled sweetly at her.

"Well, I DO NOT want them! I don't want anything from YOU!"

I frowned at her. I had picked all these nice flowers for her and she didn't want them. I sat them down next to her and bent down so I could be eye level with her.

"What am I doing here Joker," she demanded with a frown.

"Well, you passed out at your house, and it was not safe to leave you there alone. Who knows who might have walked in on you in that state? I was protecting you." I smiled at her, but she returned it with a frown. She looked around as if searching for something.

"Where's my chair Joker?"

"Oh, you won't need that silly chair here. I am going to help you get around." I smiled excited to show her the big surprise I had. I grabbed her hands and ran to where it was hidden. I knew she'd just love it. When we got there I stopped and looked at Babs. She was now covered in red from something or other, but red was a good color on her. She looked up and her face changed anger to shock. I figured she would be, after all, not that many people had a unicorn with a purple mane and tail and a pink horn. I smiled.

"Isn't she pretty? Harley calls her Glitter. You can pet her if you like. You can ride her too, if you want. Just don't feed her the skittles, those belong to the leprechaun that guards them."

"Leprechaun? Skittles? Glitter?" She looked confused. I smiled at her.

I'd found Batsey's newest bird boy roaming around outside. I couldn't risk him finding my hideout so I took him and took his belt and dressed him up as a leprechaun and chained him to my big black pot of skittles so he could guard them and not tip off Batsey and tell him where I was hiding. If he did that, Then Babs and I would not get to spend time together. She looked confused so I moved to the side so she could see my little leprechaun. She looked shocked.

"I found my leprechaun, and he was just the right size, so I dressed him up and brought him here to guard the skittles. Don't worry, I didn't look under his mask. I want Batsey's mask, not his little bird boy's masks. Now how about a ride on Glitter, bestest buddie?"

My leprechaun looked really cross. "What are you doing here Gordon!"

"Same FREAKIN' thing you are," she said forcefully. "Bein' a FREAKIN' captive!" I stood between them. I did not want them to be fighting in this place.

"Now, now, No fighting here. We are suppose to be having fun." Then I herd on the batcom about the search for Robin and Babs, "Oracle" as they called her, and I frowned. "Seems your bat friends are looking for you." I sighed, moving over to free my bird boy leprechaun. He pulled at his restraints forcefully.

"Stay away from me clown, or I'll tear that grin off your face!" He yelled lunching himself at me. I pulled my fist up and punched him in self defense. The boy fell, but sprung right back up, despite the blood that was now running down his nose. He head butted me in my stomach knocking me down. I got back up and frowned, looking at the boy who was about to charge again. I pulled my flower out and sprayed him, allowing him to sleep. I would have to return him home because they were looking for him.

"Seems I have to share you with your outer friends Babs," I sighed. "I was hoping to have more time with you." I sprayed her with the flower too.

"N..." but she was out cold. I took the leprechaun, and his bird boy belt and costume, and dropped him off on a roof top that the bats always used to look over the city. After that, I took Babs back home and carefully set her in her bed.

"So long Babs, its been fun," and then I took off knowing Nightwing or Bats one would find her there and safe.


	4. Chapter 4

**The Adventures of Barbara Gordon and the Joker**

Chapter 4

**Barbara**

I woke up in my own apartment, in my own bed, with Nightwing staring down at me. I looked around frantically for Joker or Damian but didn't see either of them. I sat up quickly.

"Joker!"

"Calm down Babs, it was just a bad dream." Nightwing put his hand on my shoulder.

"And Damian..."

"Found him on the roof dressed as a leprechaun. It was great," He chuckled.

"But...But leprechauns, and skittles, and Glitter!"

"Skittles, and leprechauns, and glitter? Was there a unicorn in this dream too Babs?"

"YES! Thats who Glitter was, the unicorn!

"It was only a dream Babs," Nightwing soothed. "It's over now."

I sat and thought about all of it. Had it all just been a dream? It seemed so real. Maybe Nightwing was right, maybe it was just a dream. I sighed but them something caught my eye on the next roof over. It was Joker! He was crouched down on the ledge on the next building over and looked right into my eyes, then winked, saluted, and then took off into the distance.

It wasn't a dream!


End file.
